It's been so long since I've put a post on here, people don't expect to find anything. So I can just blather on about nothing for as long as I want and it'll be o.k. because by the time anyone reads it. It will (hopefully) be fixed.
Thing have been kind of rocky lately. Not bad, not good, just rocky. Alot of communication has been going on (which is great) but it almost seems like I'm missing the big joke, ya know. Ya ever feel that way? Like everyone knows what is going on except you? (Some call this paranoia but I don't think that is what this is). It's not like I think people are talking about me, or plotting against me. It's more like I know the surrounding situations, but still am not sure of how things are going to end.
I do think that this is due to a new level of clarity that I have going on. You see I realized awhile back that I have a serious alcohol problem. In fact, the word alcoholic has officially taken it's place in my vocabulary. I'm one of those drink to cope alcoholics. When I had a bad day-I'd drink, when I was upset-I'd drink, when I didn't want to deal with emotions/feelings/people-I'd drink. Hell at one point it landed me in the emergency room under evaluation because I had mixed pills and vodka, and I couldn't remember how much of which I had taken. I've been sober for 186 days.
Dealing with a whole new set of emotions and feelings has been an entire new thing to deal with. But I'm coping, I've got a great sponsor, awsome support, and a new outlook on life.
One day at a time right? No day but today? {Easier said than done}.
So this post didn't go at all where I thought it was going to, but apparently this is something I needed to get out.
